DAY 13

PRAY IN SUFFERING

DAVID PERKINS WITH KIM GOODFELLOW, RADIANT CHURCH, KANSAS CITY

An unfired clay pot is fragile and must be handled with care, or irreparable harm can be done. It requires heat from a kiln to make it useful and hard. Our faith is much like that, fragile when it is untested. But, suffering and trouble serve as our forge, our kiln, and we emerge with stronger and sturdier faith.

My family experienced a ‘crucible’ moment in 2020. On November 16, 2020, my dad, Hal Perkins, a Nazarene pastor for 40 years, was admitted to a hospital near Kansas City, where he was diagnosed with Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, pneumonia, pulmonary blood clots and Covid-19. He quickly became dependent upon high quantities of oxygen to breathe.

Fellowship with a Friend

When you experience a blow in life, friends who walk with you become priceless.

Praying through suffering has the same result. Our connection to God can deepen. We can cry and scream and weep in His presence. We can speak the unthinkable. We can draw on His strength and grace when we have nothing left. And once He’s quieted our souls, we realize we have changed.

Our family’s friendship with Jesus became vital. We relied on Him to sustain us, to give us strength and to give us courage.

My sister-in-law, Amy Perkins, described her prayers in the first 25 days of Dad’s illness as small, simple prayers like “God, help.” She recalled her prayers “were without eloquence, without language and without Bible verses to recite” but deepened her friendship with God.

Praying In Suffering Provides Rest

At the end of Psalm 23, we hear that God prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. There is a time DURING the battle, that we receive much needed rest and refreshment from God.

We can show ourselves weak. This leaves room for God to do what He does best—to be our defender, our Rock, our refuge, and our Comforter. We must allow suffering to make room for God’s presence—and to allow Him to refresh us.

My sister, Deborah, recounted, “To know His goodness in the face of suffering...is a treasure. It’s a great invitation... to learn what it means to ‘count it all joy’.”

My dad recounts that he “had the best times with the Lord imaginable —as we talked...”

The secret to rest in suffering is not you; it is Christ IN you and WITH you. Make time in your testing to sit down, rest, and eat from the table the Lord has prepared.

Surrender

There comes a moment in suffering that we simply surrender our wills to His perfect will by praying. We bow our heads, lift our hands, and become more like Jesus when we confess, “Not my will but Yours be done.”

That moment came when the doctors came in with bad news a few weeks after Dad’s admission. They instructed my dad to prepare his family for his imminent death and to start preparing for his funeral. His lungs “had suffered a mortal wound and were dead,” they said. There wasn’t a way to survive the catastrophic avalanche of sickness he suffered.

Dana, my sister, said there came a time, in the natural, that it felt “wrong to believe he would be healed.” She said she began her highest

level of contending in prayer while facing the loss of Dad.

It’s hard to pray because of the pain and the disappointment. What if we don’t see a miracle? What if we lose him? In those moments, you choose to walk by your convictions—that God is good and faithful.

Dad said he “wrestled and I’d oscillate—‘Jesus, I want to be with

you,’; then ‘Jesus, I want to stay here.’” Finally, Dad states, he prayed “Jesus, it’s Your call—into Your hands I commit my spirit.”

As our family gathered on what might be our last Zoom prayer call before Dad's predicted death, we started weeping and crying out for the miracle Dad so desperately needed.

The next morning, the hospital allowed my mom to see my dad, supposedly to say good-bye. Nonchalantly, the respiratory therapist turned down his oxygen flow. At first, my parents were confused, thinking this was the way they were going to wean him from the oxygen before his final breath. Dad’s body responded to therapy, and they continued to decrease his oxygen. They turned it down to 30 liters. Then 20. Then 10. Mom kept sending us updates via the family text thread on what the staff were doing but also how Hal’s body unexpectedly responded. Stunned, we all realized that we were witnessing a miracle.

People often use God as a means to get a miracle... as a means to get what we want. It is easy for us to decide if God is good or God is faithful based on our circumstances. God can be faithful, and God can be good even if the circumstances we want don’t turn out like we’d hoped. So, we must look to God and pray: ‘You are God - no matter what—I trust you.”

If you are in the midst of suffering, allow it to be the kiln that strengthens your faith, and resolve to trust God—no matter what. Let it do its work in you by deepening your friendship with God, enjoying His rest, and surrendering your will to His.

PRAYER

Today, simply pray the prayer of "You are God—no matter what—I trust you.”